In show #18 I mentioned my triumph over nature. After conquering a cave I stripped naked, got drunk, and yelled into the woods, “Who do you think you are? I am!” In case you haven’t been on the internet for a couple of years, this phrase comes from professional bowler, Pete Weber. He said this nonsense in a fit of a joyous rage after winning a championship. I say this phrase all the time, but it felt especially rewarding to say this after emerging from a muddy, humid hole in the ground.

After coming back from that hellish pit I can honestly say I didn’t learn a damn thing. I was miserable the entire time, and more than anything else I just wanted to leave the cave. There were several times where I feared for my life and each time I wondered, “Why would anyone do this more than once?”

When I left the cave I wanted to do something decadent, but I also wanted to disrespect nature. No one was responsible for putting me in the cave but myself, however I didn’t care. I know we should respect nature, but sometimes it feels good to tell nature to go fuck itself. Some people would have given the finger to the woods, but I felt something more significant was in order. So I got naked and yelled at some trees.

Sure, it’s savage to expose yourself, but that’s part of the point. When you pull out your penis it says, “I know what is socially acceptable, but I choose to ignore the social contract. This is my dick, and I don’t fucking care what you think.”

Here’s Pete Weber being a goddamn winner.