[Rerun] Not Your Mountain! – ATOC94RR

Haunted Mt Denali

Oops, we did it again. Another rerun. But Matt has an explanation at the beginning of this episode. Check it out and hopefully we’ll be back fresh soon.

Food Burger – ATOC121

The guys discuss Cullen’s dad and his suspected pastimes. Also, the bleak political climate makes an appearance in an episode sponsored by Food Burger.

[RERUN] Focus Features World – ATOC104RR

Arnold Tattoo

Our first rerun in the history of the show. Deal with it. The guys gulp down another pumpkin something-or-other and discuss a new rule at the movie theatre and the people who hate it. They also propose a new theme park and help a listener decide what tattoo she should get in an episode sponsored […]

Homemade Cannons – ATOC120

Homemade Cannons

The guys have a lumberjack-inspired brew over discussion on the dangers of homemade archaic artillery, and the maple syrup cartel in an episode sponsored by Chuck Johnson’s Mexican Restaurant.

Selfie Safety – ATOC119

Selfie Accidents

The guys try another hard root beer over a remarkable listener story about a dangerous and very inconvenient priapism, as well as discussion on a hilariously morbid new statistic in an episode sponsored by Ma Gertie’s Adult Warehouse.

Arachnophilia – ATOC118

Arachnid Boner

The guys enjoy an odd, but delightful brew over conversation about workplace hazards, animal husbandry, and nerd enthusiasm in an episode sponsored by Tooth Fairy Finders.

Try Our New Cheese Globs! – ATOC117

Mars One

The guys enjoy a beer that’s exactly what the name says it is while pondering whether or not they’d take a one-way trip to Mars. Plus, they offer some fresh suggestions for desperate pizza chains looking to liven up their menus in an episode sponsored by Fuck Tubs.

Renaissance Man – ATOC116

Renaissance Man

The guys enjoy a hard soda over more flat-earth nonsense, and a lengthy conversation on Cullen’s Dad and his (romantic?) pursuits in an episode sponsored by Carl’s Used Books.

Some Still Think the Earth is Flat – ATOC115

Flat Earth

The guys enjoy a decent beverage for once whose marketing is pretty gross. They then discuss snow construction, archaic home theater vocabulary, and a certain Flat Earth theorist who has recently gone on a public Twitter tirade in an episode sponsored by Bedazzled By Betty.

Daredevils & Babypods – ATOC113


The guys once again share a sugary malt beverage over conversation about wilderness drinking; a new, rather intimate music listening apparatus; and whether or not daredevils should exist in an episode sponsored by Ted Christ: Miracles for Hire.

Drinking And Entering – ATOC112

Passed Out

The guys have a mediocre malt beverage and give advice on when it’s okay to fart in front of your significant other. They also share two stories of New Years Eve peril from opposite sides of the Atlantic and celebrate the return of Uncle Bib’s Skunk Patties as a sponsor.

Holiday Darwin Awards – ATOC111

Condom Machine

The guys halfway enjoy a megalopoly’s desperate attempt at capturing a growing segment of the beverage market over conversation on mobile phone distraction, and a condom vending machine robbery that ended in tragedy in an episode sponsored by Geezer Wireless.

No Spoilers! – ATOC110

Scolding Han Solo No Spoilers

One of the guys enjoys a traditional holiday beverage while the other chokes it down over discussion on the best self-given Christmas gifts, and the best of the now non-canonized Star Wars Expanded Universe in an episode sponsored (once again) by TruckNuts.com.

Pump & Dump – ATOC109

Star Wars Fans

The guys share another beverage abomination over more discussion on Star Wars fan theories and whether or not one of Cullen’s coworkers  is squatting at his place of employment in an episode sponsored by Holiday Quick Tips.

Crying over spilled STACK – ATOC108

Bad Santa Sneeze

The guys get clumsy with discussions on the worst Xmas gifts they’ve ever received, Cullen gets political, and Matt manages to get more beverage on his desk than in his belly in an episode sponsored by TruckNuts.com.  

The Phantom Menace?

Evil Jar Jar

The guys choke down a new variety of an old beverage foe over discussion about underwear and the recent Star Wars fan theory that has shaken the fanbase to its core in an episode sponsored by Martha’s Leftovers.

I’m thankful for… – ATOC106

Thankful For

The guys enjoy a comic book themed malt beverage over conversation about elderly drug lords, Thanksgiving, and another case of unfortunate identity in an episode sponsored by Gobble Gobble Bang.

You Can’t Name Your Child That – ATOC105

Raising Arizona

The guys finally crack a beverage they’ve been saving for a while and discuss worthless coworkers, effective and ineffective energy drinks, irresponsible parenting, and host a special guest over the phone in an episode sponsored by Crabville Sex Toy Rentals.

Focus Features World ATOC104

Al Molinaro Tattoo

The guys gulp down another pumpkin something-or-other and discuss a new rule at the movie theatre and the people who hate it. They also propose a new theme park and help a listener decide what tattoo she should get in an episode sponsored by Full-o-Bologna.

Beyond?! – ATOC103

Live Long and Prosper Bitches

The guys suck down more Fall flavor over tastier talk about a criminal deviant on the loose in the place you’d most expect it, and the future of Star Trek in an episode sponsored by My Racist Dad, Tuesdays at 9pm on StormChannel 9.

Just Ankles and Beard Shavings – ATOC102

Ankles and Beard Shavings

The guys have another seasonal brew over answering many personal and revealing questions in a long email from Superfan Bryan, and consider the scenario that lead to Cullen finding something disgusting in his work parking lot in an episode sponsored by Gary’s Nude Housekeeping.

Next Time, Get a Sitter! – ATOC101

Movie Annoyances

The guys enjoy an autumnal beverage over discussion about insensitive theatre-goers, and lamentations on the absence of scientific appreciation in modern-day movies in an episode sponsored by El Pene del Diablo.

The Odyssey Concludes – ATOC99

Porn Junkie

The guys share the quintessential classic malt liquor over topics such as abstaining from pornography and over-patriotism. Also, Matt shares his near-death experience from the past weekend in an episode sponsored by Big Al’s Wrecked-Em.

The Odyssey Stagnates – ATOC98

Ron Jeremy

The guys have an idiot-proof malt liquor over conversation about celebrity bathtub gin, Ron Jeremy’s unfortunately never-ending career, and Matt swears off porn in an episode sponsored by Montezuma Springs Mineral Water.

The Odyssey Disappoints ATOC97

Nickole Dykema

The guys continue their unfortunate beverage adventure over conversation about superhero attire in everyday life, junk food attacking inequality, and a complete lunatic who’s finally been removed from society in an episode sponsored by County Line Beard Oils.

The Odyssey Continues – ATOC96

Everest Overrated

The guys try another classically awful malt liquor over a letter from a listener who homebrews; hot button issues in the Alabama educational system, before pondering why on Earth would anyone want to climb Mt. Everest in an episode sponsored by Kev’s Klips (sorry Kevin).

The Odyssey Begins – ATOC95

The guys embark on a five-episode beverage nightmare to count down to their 100th episode. They also discuss who should be on our currency, homophobics turning against each other, and contemplate their own masturbatory legacies in an episode sponsored by Medical Aids Plus.

Not Your Mountain! – ATOC94

Mt Denali

The guys once again say goodbye (hopefully for the last time) to Four Loko over discussion about the former Mt. McKinley, and a movie Matt surprisingly hadn’t seen yet in an episode sponsored by Wilbur’s Typewriter Accessories.

Poison! Now in New Flavors! – ATOC93


The guys risk their lives on an old favorite over conversation about being attacked by animals, overreaching art exhibits, and geriatric fashion faux pas in an episode sponsored by The Council to Elect Dan Winston.

Malt Liquor Wanted – ATOC92

Malt Liqour

The guys discuss fashion, and an actor Cullen is sick of before they interview an alien from Jupiter’s moon Europa in an episode sponsored by The Cricket Translator.

Piss or This? – ATOC91

The guys respond to a spicy letter on geriatric love before discussing driving etiquette and local commercials in an episode sponsored by Greg’s Whiskey Stand.

Lern to Spell! – ATOC89

Keep Clam and Learn to Spell

The guys discuss ways to stay cool, an actor who Cullen thinks could be a bit less legendary, and unacceptable spelling errors (all of them) over japanese soda in an episode sponsored by Pomme Abeille.

Just the Tips – ATOC88


The guys (actually) enjoy a unique sparkling beverage over a recap of lessons learned on Cullen’s honeymoon. They also discuss ways to spice up small talk, and Benicio Del Toro’s possible new role in Star Wars VIII in an episode sponsored by Jizzy’s Surf Shop.

The Wow Signal – ATOC87

Wow Alien DJ

The guys enjoy (for once) a beverage over a discussion on bowling shoes, the personal life of an historic figure, and the sad world of mustard enthusiasm in an episode sponsored by Bacon Taters.

Unwrap Some Trash – ATOC86

4 of 5 Gift Cards

The guys pucker up for discussion on selling the show, greeting cards, and the names of prescription drugs in an episode featuring a snippet from The Butter Brothers Podcast.

A Spacetime Blunder -ATOC85

Mike Pence Gay

The guys discuss marriage equality, time travel, gluttony, celebrity chefs, and Cullen’s tough time over the weekend (which are related) in an episode sponsored by County Line Energy Drinks.

Open A Tab – ATOC84

Marty McFly and Lou

The guys indulge in something non-alcoholic for a change, but no less strange or terrible as usual. They also talk about what they’d do if they could travel through time (which, by the way, they can) in an episode sponsored by the Naugasuck County Fair.

It’s a conspiracy, man!

Mel Gibson

The guys have a fruity beer that grows on them while discussing summer outdoor adventures and how conspiracy theorists are doing nothing but giving evil people ideas in an episode sponsored by Rock105: The Rock.

An Un-Current Affair – ATOC82

An Uncurrent Affair

The guys take on time travel, TV news magazines, and get to the bottom of who the real villain was in one of our favorite movies in an episode sponsored by Desperation Chocolatier.

Bulgeraunts REVISITED – ATOC81


The guys get wine-hammered and attempt to interpret each other’s dreams. They also threaten the purveyors of a new Dallas establishment who stole their idea in an episode sponsored by the all-new 2015 Carmello Velvetta sedan.

Stupid Car Decorations – ATOC80

Stupid Car Decorations

The guys discuss terrible decision making with respect to automotive expression, as well as rushing future technology in an episode sponsored by the hot new freemium app; Town of Towns.

Eating Our Emotions – ATOC79

Eating Spaghetti

The guys try to enjoy a beer that’s meant to taste like a donut over conversation about the health of their coworkers, themselves, and whether or not we should be rooting for the criminals on COPS; in an episode sponsored by MYSTERY SPONSOR….

The Empire Strikes Back Short, Black Angel, is on YouTube

George Lucas wanted a short to play in front of The Empire Strikes Back in the U.K. After reading a script written by Star Wars Set Decorator, Roger Christian, Lucas commissioned the short Black Angel for £25,000. The negatives were lost for years until they were found in 2011 by an archivist at Universal Studios […]

Prepping for ConConCon

Con Con Con

The guys actually enjoy their surprise beverage for a change. They then discuss a new mail-order way to creep out your enemies, and debate over the why wives are portrayed as killjoys in media in an episode sponsored by Odd Cops (on after an all-new My Racist Dad, Tuesdays at 9:00/8:00c).

Sleazy Sax – ATOC77

Sleazy Sax

The guys enjoy a sweet, tart selection over a chat about the worst musical instruments, social media annoyances, and whether or not hashtag jokes should die a violent death in an episode sponsored by Kelly Blue Balls.

Funeral Strippers – ATOC076

Funeral Strippers

The guys actually enjoy their chosen beverage over some conversation on movies that should be re-done, getting stuck in a cave, and where strippers are becoming a problem at funerals in an episode sponsored by Sex Bars LTD.

Down with Man-Caves ATOC75

Man Cave

The guys choke down a tropical monstrosity and discuss why masculine retreats could be evidence of inner emptiness. Also, a new Japanese game show that could be even more absurd than the rest. Finally, Cullen compares Jar Jar Binks to one of the presidents in an episode sponsored by Everyday Beige Publishing.

Bachelor Parties – ATOC74

The guys tuck into an earthy beverage inspired by science fiction over some tasty conversation about harrowing bachelor party experiences, and TV shows that really need to come back in an episode sponsored by Schwanz Photography.

March Sadness – ATOC73

The guys force down a bad-idea beverage over conversations about pain, college basketball, and productivity drugs in an episode sponsored by Danko’s Dreamcatchers.

Bad Sex TV or Lewd Stamps – ATOC72

Lewd TV Stamp

The guys discuss the limits of workplace bathroom visits, a terrible new show, and phallic postage in an episode sponsored by Con-Con, the Convention convention.

Ted Cruz’s Vajankle – ATOC71

The guys drink Nicki Minaj’s pathetic wine spritzer over some tasty conversation about the latest presidential candidate, alternative sex toys, and time travel in an episode sponsored by Black Market Office Supplies.

Horse Milk and Bathroom Attendants

The guys drink a very tame wine cooler-esque monstrosity and talk gross co-workers, alternative dairy products, and pathetic jobs in an episode sponsored by Italian Stereotypes Pizza.

That’s A Lotta Nuts! -ATOC69

The guys discuss St. Patrick’s Day, selfish old ladies, and cyborgs in an episode sponsored by “That’s A Lotta Nuts!”

Free T-Shirts

Wow, that got your attention… The guys discuss Mexican restaurants and complimentary swag over a beverage from the town of Douche in an episode sponsored by A+ Snuggle Parties.

Free Stuff Ain’t Free – ATOC67

The guys enjoy a worthwhile beverage for a change over some conversation about Matt’s awful Friday night DJing for borderline sociopaths, and Cullen reveals the freebies available in his most recent erotic mailer in an episode sponsored by McGreenburg’s (Now accepting new forms of payment).

Beat Yourself – ATOC66

The guys get wasted on a disgusting cousin of Colt 45, discuss Matt’s manly new hobby, and granny’s weird license plate cover in an episode brought to you by the Local Hell Council. By the way, Cullen’s mic cuts out toward the end. Listen closely–you can still hear him. Don’t worry, we’ll flog our engineer […]

What the Funk – ATOC65

The guys talk about “butt chugging,” horses, and have a conversation with Kanye’s shriveled conscience over a highly alcoholic tea-infused beer in an episode sponsored by The Spammy Awards.

Ditka Cab Sav

The guys discuss weathering the Chicago snow storm for the Big Game over a glass of wine approved by Ditka himself. They also explain why a personal habit of theirs doesn’t necessarily make them crazy in an episode sponsored by Tony Danza Dollar Days.

Bulgeraunts – ATOC63

The guys discuss the societal need for the male equivalent of Breastaraunts and their ideas therefore, as well as a conversation with the head of programming at The History Channel to discuss why shows actually about history are no longer airing in an episode sponsored by Super Dave’s Sup-r B-wls. And here’s that link we […]

Adventure Time Travel – ATOC062

The guys talk adventure, time travelers, and archaic ettiquette over a beverage suitable for poor teenage decisions in an episode sponsored by Smell Good Perfume. Oh yeah, and here’s that link we talked about: Drop some cash in the bucket why don’t ya?

I Will Remember You – ATOC61

The guys say goodbye to an old stand-by in the beverage category, hear from a listener who’s allergic to a recent drink featured on the show and discuss a teacher’s less-than-admirable career change in an episode sponsored by Bobby Beadoff’s Miracle Water.

Matt Lost Cullen – ATOC59

The guys discuss a would-be ill-fated romp in the woods, as well as question their public etiquette over a drink with too much kick for all the wrong reasons in an episode sponsored by Beezle Bob’s Wishful Things.

Auld Lang Syne, Bitches – ATOC59

The guys talk resolutions, notable gifts from this year, and uncomfortable pop stars over budget champagne in an episode sponsored by the Society for Rampant Hyperbole.

Xmas is Special – ATOC58

[divider line_type=”No Line” custom_height=”15″] The guys enjoy a traditional holiday drink perhaps best forgotten over a discussion of bad Christmas gifts and an exclusive tell-all interview from a high-ranking elf from the North Pole in an episode welcoming back “Well, I’m a Bastard!” Tuesdays at 10/9c. [divider line_type=”No Line” custom_height=”15″]

Lower Jowls – ATOC57

[divider line_type=”No Line” custom_height=”15″] The guys enjoy a lovely and decidedly ethnic ale and discuss public breastfeeding, an obnoxious pleasantry, and the inevitable Mama June sex tape in an episode sponsored by Uncle Bib’s Skunk Patties. [divider line_type=”No Line” custom_height=”15″]

It’s Not for Readers – ATOC56

[divider line_type=”No Line” custom_height=”15″] The guys enjoy a hobo staple and discuss their hopes for Star Wars VII, the alarming consequences of competitive eating, and the UK’s response to sexual deviance in an episode sponsored by Millie & Meriel. [divider line_type=”No Line” custom_height=”15″]

Post-Feast Lessons – ATOC55

[divider line_type=”No Line” custom_height=”15″] The guys enjoy a seasonal shandy and talk about the new Star Wars teaser, reflections on another Thanksgiving with terrible family members, retro lingerie fashion, and Cullen seeing a movie he’s been meaning to see for over a decade in an episode sponsored by Hobo Joe. [divider line_type=”No Line” custom_height=”15″]

Gobble Gobble, Boil & Bubble – ATOC54

[divider line_type=”No Line” custom_height=”15″] The guys sit down to good, cheap wine and discuss sex in cinema, a terrific case of pet name innuendo, and general Thanksgiving dread in an episode sponsored by Life Lessons With Grandpa–Now on Audio cassette! [divider line_type=”No Line” custom_height=”15″]

Winter’s Bone: The Dewito Objective – ATOC53

[divider line_type=”No Line” custom_height=”15″] The guys attempt to make their own “Dewitos” in the studio with salty chips, soda and a blender. they discuss letting nerd flags fly, an internet sensation, and re-ignite an old flame in an episode brought to you by “Well, I’m a Bastard!” Tuesdays at 10/9c [divider line_type=”No Line” custom_height=”15″]

Hipster Hobo – ATOC52

[divider line_type=”No Line” custom_height=”15″] The guys celebrate a year with a hipster hobo dragon beverage. A dick pic tale pays dividends while adolescent sex ed stories are shared in an episode sponsored by Pachrym’s Sandwich Bags (with an enlightening visit from the owner’s son, Ryan Pachrym). [divider line_type=”No Line” custom_height=”15″]

Show #51: Unbreak My Heart

[divider line_type=”No Line” custom_height=”15″] The guys drink Matt’s favorite flavor while recounting his experience of a possible paranormal emergency; Cullen expresses his concern for Matt’s lack of discretion in an episode sponsored by The Monster Temp Agency. [divider line_type=”No Line” custom_height=”15″]

Show #50: Burlesque

The guys celebrate a milestone by enjoying their best seasonal brew yet (which isn’t saying much), offer some advice to a female listener who had an awkward sexual encounter, have an enlightening discussion with a burlesque singer, and discuss weird Halloween costumes from their childhood in an episode sponsored by The Foundation to Help People […]

Show #49: Crappy Jobs

The guys enjoy a poor excuse for a seasonal brew and discuss shitty jobs they’ve had, The Vatican’s connection to aliens, and what Star Wars 7 could potentially be about in an episode sponsored by Seth Patrick’s Dick.

Show #48: Best Man Speech

The guys enjoy another pumpkin abomination, learn about the most uncomfortable best man speech ever, and talk bodily function changes brought on by dietary changes in an episode sponsored by The Ventriloquist Warehouse.

Our Private Shame in Public

As we talked about it show 46, sometimes you are attracted to someone and you are not particularly proud of it. For Matt, it is the busty model Amy Anderssen. When I asked Matt what about Amy specifically turned him on, he said it was the bimbo factor. He felt like he shouldn’t like her, […]

Show #47: Alien Abduction

Matt forgets what’s going on, then snaps back to the present moment. The guys enjoy an appropriate seasonal brew, talk alien abduction (again), and Matt explains why he’s probably an unsettling neighbor in an episode sponsored by Electronics Anonymous. http://youtu.be/Ve6tGY9u2lo

Show #46: Yeah!

The guys talk about another strange trip into a cave, sex in strange places, draw a parallel between Americans and the most obnoxious people in the office, and guilty pleasure porn in an episode sponsored by an awful new show that we hope gets cancelled immediately. http://youtu.be/ReYZC1CG5SM

Show #45: Precious

The guys try another weird beer while discussing Tinder, VERY specific bumper stickers, sonic joke enhancement, and vintage bra technology in an episode sponsored by Modified Fruit Solutions. http://youtu.be/akiMr1BuWbU

Show #44: Computer Hatred

The guys endure a technical nightmare, drink a very strange brew, comment on celebrity photo leaks, pitch a lewd reality show, and discuss a vacation resort where the girls tend to get too promiscuous in an episode sponsored by Realistic Gore. http://youtu.be/caHDbwDOUZo

Show #43: Dr. Fingerbang

The guys drink a poorly-named beverage while helping a young man with a relationship quandry. They also discuss the SCARIEST THING from their childhoods, as well as an oversized segment of the adult entertainment world in an episode sponsored by Brenda’s Security.

Show #42: You Brute

The guys drink a lemonade malt beverage, field an email from a gentleman with differing beliefs, and discuss an old TV theme in an episode sponsored by Ronnie’s Robots (they’re not for sex). http://youtu.be/TuBmUdWgoHo

The Anaconda Fart Remix

By now you’ve probably seen Nicki Minaj’s video for Anaconda. While the visuals are rather pleasing, the song itself is a bit of a mess. Don’t get me wrong I can get into a woman singing about her big butt and enjoyment of humping, however it feels like three different songs were just stitched together […]

Show #41: You Should See His Balls

The guys are drunk on very cheap “craft” beer, Matt shares a story about genitals and they reveal the spirit animal of the show in an episode sponsored by Ma Gertie’s Adult Warehouse. http://youtu.be/H1zj9qh60Co

Beware of Civil Forfeiture

As I mentioned in show #40, the police can pull you over and take your money if they believe it has something to do with illegal activities. Matt’s response to this idea was, “Ahhhhhhhhhhhh,” but it is very real and it is called civil forfeiture. Check out the segment The Daily Show did on it […]

Show #39: Social Decorations

Bumper Sticker Car

We drink Stack, share our disinterest in music, and ask why people use bumper stickers to voice their opinions. We’re recording now | What You Drinkin’? | Sponsor Time: Barson’s Hardware Store | What’s in the Mail Sack? | Bumper Stickers | TBT http://youtu.be/9ut4HwnPcZI

Show #38: Mr Johnny Phone It In

What You Drinkin’? | Lucian’s Parchment, Occult Books and More | What’s In the Mail Sack? | TBT: http://youtu.be/vtFVtIdAlNE

Show #36: Loose Meat Sandwich

What you drinkin? | What’s in the Mail Sack? | TBT We drink something called Four-O, Matt says F it, and we share some wedding tales.

Show #35: Sexual Energy

What You Drinkin’? | Reno Tourism Board | What’s In the Mail Sack? | Conspiracy Theories | TBT: Foreign Porn : Show Me The Lady! We drink Twisted Tea Strawberry Lemonade, a listener asks what it would cost to please a millionaire, and we discuss a pretty whack conspiracy theory. http://youtu.be/4SHGRazFeBk

Show #33: Art of the Tease Master

What You Drinkin’? | Sebastian’s Pork Squeezers | What’s in the Mail Sack? | Social Experiment: Hunting People for Sport | TBT http://youtu.be/Qt0boxeqatk dary

Show #30: It’s a Smothers Brothers Day

What You Drinkin’? | Rodney’s Used Porn Star Panties | What’s In the Mail Sack? | Who the F*** Is Pitbull? | TBT: Sexy Storm Troopers http://youtu.be/uiiMxjTbkA0

Pepsi Thinks You are Stupid

As we stated in show 29, Pepsi decided to advertise their new mini can with a commercial that dares you not to jam knitting needles in your ears. Somehow their marketing team managed to put together every overused movie quote in existence, into one minute of promotional tripe. If you wish to take the Pepsi […]

Show #29: Aunt Mary’s Christmas Sweaters

See if I Fucking Care | What You Drinkin’? | What’s In the Mail Sack? | Aunt Mary’s Christmas Sweaters | Puppy Priapism | Infuriating Movie Commercial | Breathing Hard on the Phone | TBT: Celebrity Boobs http://youtu.be/Y5ugZHCzMh4

Show #28: You’ve Got Gorgeous Feet

Check the Microphone | What You Drinkin’? | What’s in the Mail Sack? | Social Norms with Cullen: The Knock Enter | Stuff Me When I’m Dead | Buying Mattress | TBT: Smaller Breasts http://youtu.be/qAB3lJdj53Y

Show #27: Shot with a Laser Pointer

In this outing we drink Samuel Adams: New World, answer Ian Pommer’s naughty “Star Wars” question, introduce our first sponsor, talk about the suggestive sent of a certain tree, and share an experience about the smelliest man that has EVER EXISTED. Holy crap there is a lot in this episode. Shot with a Laser | […]

Show #26: Because Paint Thinner Costs Too Much

Steve returns, we ingest King Cobra, answer some very personal mail sack questions, talk about inappropriate profile pics, discuss pranks, and question mud wrestling. http://youtu.be/phSvib7ynpM

Show #24: Setting the Bar Low

Setting the Bar Low | What You Drinkin’? | What’s in the Mail Sack? | Sci-Fi Action | TBT http://youtu.be/P2HQ4Pbobvc

Bogus Fortune Cookies

As we stated in show #23, there are a lot of bogus fortune cookies in the world. I’ve never met anyone who writes fortune cookies, but I have a hard time believing it is a difficult line of work. The name of the product dictates your job for goodness sakes. If you can write a […]

Show #23: The Nightmares Won’t Stop

Turd on Deck | What You Drinkin’? | What’s in the Mail Sack? | Forced Relations with an Animal | Truck Nuts | Stupid Fortune Cookies | TBT: Lucie Wilde is a Dead Fish : Agressive Sex Ads http://youtu.be/TXodsDBZ2Dk

Blog Doodle 3: Magic Man

It’s at least as funny as The Family Circus. Do you draw on scraps of paper to kill the monotony of everyday life? Please share your doodles. You can send an email or contact us on Twitter. We are @ATouchOfCrass. If we like what we see, maybe we will share it on the site.

Show #22: Fuck Those Guys and Fuck Yourself

Suckin’ and F–kin’ | What You Drinkin’? | What’s in the Mail Sack? | Mila Kunis and Honey Bourbon/Whiskey | The Best Sex of Your Life | 90s Porn Sweat | TBT : Monster T-ts : Claudia Marie Should Stop http://youtu.be/jAbMwP413O4 http://youtu.be/CXYnfZhg9IU

Show #21 Watching Your Balls

Asshole Steve | What You Drinkin’? | What’s in the Mailsack | Penis Tattoo Revisited | The Rise and Fall of Your Balls | Jesus Quintana | Facebook and Kids | TBT http://youtu.be/QO8gXsunirA

Community in Lego

To help get everyone excited for tonight’s G.I. Joe themed episode of Community, let’s check out another mashup of Greendale’s finest with a different piece of childhood excellence, Legos. Take a few minutes of your day and check out the Tumblr site Community in LEGO. The site creates all of your favorite characters in Lego […]

Show #19: Battle Banging

Dial Back the Excitement | What You Drinkin’? | What’s in the Mail Sack? | Rear Entry (Yes or No) | Quincy Jones Gets so Much Ass | That’s Not My Job | TBT: Battle Bang http://youtu.be/im0xWk-trWs

Who Do You Think You Are?

In show #18 I mentioned my triumph over nature. After conquering a cave I stripped naked, got drunk, and yelled into the woods, “Who do you think you are? I am!” In case you haven’t been on the internet for a couple of years, this phrase comes from professional bowler, Pete Weber. He said this […]

Show #18: Freshly Squeezed Milk

The Joke | What You Drinkin’? | Matt’s a Little Slow/Math is Hard | Cullen’s Corner of Rage: Punctuation Overuse | Matt Truly Exorcises the Ex-Wife Demon After Finding Her Picture | Naked Caving | TBT: Boob Apron (video below) : Lactation Porn http://youtu.be/tieA5wfcgH4 http://youtu.be/VmUXC7OdupU

NSFW Video: Denver News Station Airs Penis Live

On a day with news of a heartbreaking helicopter crash in Seattle, a Denver news station, KDVR, shows why it isn’t a good idea to start randomly flipping through pictures on Twitter. While going through the photos of the wreckage on a Twitter account, they showed off the crash, Edward Scissor Hands (which should have […]

Show #17: Catalog of Filth

Ladies, Expose Yourself | What You Drinkin’? | Eat the Donut | New Slang: The King’s Treasure | New Kardashian – Palin Sex Tape | TBT: Breast Implant Advice : Pierced Nipples http://youtu.be/OLbVT_jsJqI

Show #16: Life After Gianna Michaels

Tony Danza’s Life is a Sham | What You Drinkin’? | Life After Gianna Michaels | The Microwave Update | You Sir, Have the Genitals of a Moose | Cullen’s Corner of Rage: The Sexy Finger | TBT: First Live Pair of Floppies : Hentai http://youtu.be/8R5AZxUG4Ys

Show #15: Truck Full of Brains

Oh Lordy Lordy | What You Drinkin’? | Stealing Brains | Cullen’s Corner of Rage: Microwave Door | Hounded by Charities | TBT : New Terminology for the Sweater Hogs : http://youtu.be/w2POOAo9eWE

Daily Danza Update

As we mentioned in episode 14, we unearthed what was left of dailydanza.com. Tony Danza’s original blog site is gone, but we were able to find a few artifacts proving it’s existence. First up, the video we played during our show. Here we are treated with Tony Danza’s review of The Bachelor finale. Next, Tony […]

Show 14: The Erotic Morgan Spurlock

I’m a Gentleman | What You Drinkin’? | The Lover’s Getaway | Charlie’s Angel Pose | the Daily Danza | Update: The Gianna Michaels Challenge | TBT: Model Names Gross Me Out : Alexandra Daddario Gets Naked http://youtu.be/y6b89KrTx_c

Gianna Michaels vs. Hocus Pocus

WARNING! This post is NSFW. In episode 13 we mentioned a couple of videos and we would like to take a few minutes to share them with you. First, Matt mentioned a tit fuck compilation he came across on pornhub.com. You can go there and search for “tit fucking lovers compilation,” or you can go […]

Yodeling Money Shots

Big Can for a Big Man | Yodeling Money Shots | What You Drinkin’? | The Porn Challenge UPDATE | There is No Gay, Straight, or Bi, Only a Spectrum | When Did it Become a Chore to Watch Netflix | Cullen Rage: Someone’s Grumpy | TBT: Top 3 Searches for Porn in the UK […]

Naptown Nerd Knows The Walking Dead

The return of The Walking Dead means the return of people complaining about The Walking Dead. I personally don’t understand why there is so much hate for this show. It’s not like they screwed up the facts about a real life event. We should all just be thankful there is an hour long drama that […]


WARNING! This post is NSFW. Also, stick around for the video at the bottom of this post. As we mentioned in episode #12, Lazertits is an excellent resource for seeing lasers come out of tits. The frequency of post has slowed down a bit, but after personally talking to Lazertits, I can confirm that a […]

It’s Not Better Than Sex

The guys discuss a porn parody that should happen, AND FAST; whether or not alcoholic beverages should contain Metamucil; and Matt issues Cullen a 30-day challenge… http://youtu.be/ERg5AVFixGc

Wet and Reckless is a Movie

As we stated in episode 11, the porn community has not made a movie called Wet and Reckless. A real opportunity is being missed. I imagine a movie with horny cops pulling over drunk women, and instead of charging the women with a DUI or being wet reckless they have sex in their car, on […]

Look at Those Cow T**s

Thinking About Hiring a Prostitute | What You Drinkin’? | Songs About Sucking in Life | Joining the NO FAP movement | Cullen Rants “Having Fun Yet” | More Surface More Pain | TBT: Phallic Objects Between a Woman’s Breasts : Least Favorite Fun Bags Term http://youtu.be/_vyCaVO9ceE

Show # 10: Loose as a Page 5 Girl in a Hustler

Loose as a Page 5 Girl in a Hustler | What You Drinkin’? | My Butt Oinked | Dealing with the Super | Dick Pick for Christmas | The DVD Shake Down | TBT: Rebel Wilson, Would You? : Sweater Puppies, A Thank You to Sweaters http://youtu.be/2o3IikICeSc

Show #9: So Many Rocker C**ks So Little Time

It’s All About the People | What You Drinkin’? | Wardrobe Malfunction/Nipple-Gate | Binge-Gate | Car Sex | Religious Bilboards | TBT: Porn Scenarios : Pros and Cons of Bolt-Ons

WFTX has Really Funny Reporters

As we stated in Show #8, local news reporters are the worst. Patrick Nolan and Warren Wright are masters of making your eyes roll. These jokers managed to deliver five chicken puns in in forty seconds. How do they develop this skill? Is there some special broadcasting class that teaches future reporters the art of […]

Show #8: Cullen’s Corner of Rage

Can’t All be Winners | Shit That Bugs Cullen | What You Drinkin’ | Cullen’s Corner of Rage is The Perfect Storm of Anger | Haunted House Hunting | The Horrific Screams of the “Big O” | Horrible Anchor Banter | TBT : Salute to Glenn Howerton : Courtney Stodden

Show #7: Don’t F-ing Judge Me

Don’t F***ing Judge Me | What You Drinkin’? | Self Pleasure Crunch Time, What Does it For You? | Wearing Cologne, Dick Swagger | Tattoo on the Tip of Your D | Drinking Your Own Cream | Talkin’ ’Bout Tits : Mammary Intercourse : Nip Slips http://youtu.be/GyLjvjbA6fc

Goodbye Matt Smith

The early 1990’s was when I first came across “Doctor Who.” I found it on a local PBS station while flipping through the channels during a commercial break for “Saturday Night Live.” The first thing I remember was the big, rubbery, pink hand of a Zygon on a spaceship’s control panel. The sight of this […]

Show #6: Stop Trying to be Cool

Stop Trying to Be Cool | What You Drinkin’? | The Daily Danza | Consensual Porn | Your First Time With Yourself | Let’s Get it On | Shampoo The Pubes | TBT: Linda Carter : Can’t Top That

The Grossest Gross That Ever Grossed

While I was I at work recently I came up with a doodle idea to add to our ongoing blog doodle series. For no particular reason I decided I wanted to draw a Garbage Pail Kid. Hoping to come up with an original character, the name Marty Mucous sprung into my head. However, I didn’t […]

Show #5: Welcome to F*** Town

Sing Me a Song | What You Drinkin’? | The C Word | Who Live Reads Tweets? | Gross Cats | The Mentality of, At Least I Have a Job! | TBT: Have You Ever Sexted? : First Porn Name You Remembered

Show #4 Biggest Cheapest Girl at the End of the Night

We’ve made it 4 episodes deep. We promise, we can go deeper! This week’s edition answers the question about how a spontaneous Circle J*** begins, going to Gay weddings, Uncle FU, and we trudge up some adolescent fantasies. As well as your favorite segments of What you drinkin? and Talkin’ ‘Bout T**s. Also… why does […]

Nipple Tattoos and The Great American Challenge

WARNING: NSFW IMAGES. Seriously, don’t read this if you are at work. In episode #3 I mentioned heart nipple tattoos and The Great American Challenge. Since Matt was a bit confused as to what I was talking about, I wanted to clarify on our site. This is what I meant by heart nipple tattoos:   […]

Show #3: Hide Your Children

Happy Hump Day! Do you have a case of the Mondays? Hope not, because this Thanksgiving you should be thankful for another wonderful episode of A Touch of Crass where discussions of needlessly nice dumbasses annoy Cullen with stupid phrases like I’ve posted above. Also discussing WNBA marketing tactics that could really get people talking, […]

Cullen Loves Doctor Who

I haven’t talked about it much on here or on the podcast, but I love “Doctor Who.” “Then why don’t you marry it?” Because this isn’t the 3rd grade, now shut up and let me write. The 50th anniversary of the show is tomorrow and I really wanted to write an in depth analysis of […]

Blog Doodle: The Second

While sorting trough some old papers this week at work, I found some old doodles of mine. After recently seeing “The Hangover”, I could not get Ed Helms singing “Stu’s Song” (The Tiger Song) out of my head. The tinkling of the piano set against the ridiculous lyrics refused to leave my brain. In an […]

Show #2: You’re a Real Turd Charlie Brown

Matt and Cullen wax philosophic about pornographers (not in the way you think), ex girlfriend stuff, what you drinkin, tbt and more. Touching My Knobs | What You Drinkin’? | Sending Gifts to a Pornographer | The Role of the Pivot Man | I F’d Your Mom | TBT: Linda Friday : Last Time You […]

Blog Doodle: The First

Do you ever get bored at work? Of course we all do. That’s why sometimes to dull the pain of working at a soul crushing job (or a mind-numbing class) we draw something silly to occupy our minds. Recently I was thinking about the old TV show “The Greatest American Hero” and how much I […]

The Crass Begins

http://youtu.be/Ro4TmCdX9yY We drink the best thing we may have ever tasted, talk about something sexually related to Star Wars (not the golden bikini), share a story about an almost haunted house, and try to figure how out why people suck at Facebook. It’s the debut episode of “A Touch of Crass” Set the Levels | […]